Before you read this page, you should read theButch Cassidy Model and Commentary.
Topic Sentence: When the British archeologist, Howard Carter,
excavated the tomb of the Pharaoh Tutankhamen, he discovered an
astonishing treasure of ancient Egyptian artwork.
First Subtopic: The antechamber of the tomb was filled with
furniture, statues and carvings, and chests containing beautiful
objects.
Evidence: In the center of the antechamber was a golden throne
with arms in the form of winged serpents.
Evidence: Near the throne were intricately carved alabaster
vessels and life-size black statues, probably portraying
Tutankhamen.
Second Subtopic: On the mummy was found a gold burial mask.
Evidence: The dazzling mask was inlaid with semiprecious stones
and glass paste.
Evidence: The gold burial mask was a perfect likeness of Tut.
Third Subtopic: On the walls of the tomb were a number of
magnificent murals, brightly painted in red, yellow, black, and
white.
Evidence: The wall paintings depicted events in the king's
afterlife.
Evidence: One wall showed baboon spirits of the funerary realm
through which the dead king would pass.
There are several things to notice about this paragraph and its outline.
First, notice that this paragraph is not an argument like the paragraph on Butch Cassidy where the writer was trying to convince us that the movie was one of the most entertaining movies ever made. This paragraph is descriptive. The purpose is to describe what the tomb looked like and what was found there.
Second, this writer also begins the paragraph with a topic sentence which announces the topic, Tutankhamen's tomb, and indicates how he will treat the topic. The word or phrase that does this is often said to indicate the writer's attitude toward the topic. Here the key words are "astonishing treasure." The writer then proceeds to describe some of this treasure for us.
Third, the plan of organization in each paragraph is the same. The topic sentence is followed by subtopic sentences. Each subtopic sentence identifies one part of the more general topic which will be discussed. The subtopic sentences are then followed by evidence. In this case the evidence is a description of the tomb and some of its treasures.
The point to keep in mind is that this strategy of dividing your topic up into parts and dealing with each one in turn can be useful in many different writing situations. In taking essay examinations, for example, you might start off by jotting down a brief outline with each part of your outline identifying a part of what you want to say. These points will be your subtopics. The subtopics must be followed by specific information, evidence, to illustrate the idea you have expressed in your subtopic sentence. Of course, the entire piece of writing should begin with a topic sentence in which you state your general topic and indicate by a key word or phrase how you intend to treat it.
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